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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599015">Countdown Until I Have You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueboyjohnny/pseuds/blueboyjohnny'>blueboyjohnny</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Character Death, Choking, Heavy Drinking, Jealousy, M/M, Murder, not sexual</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:27:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,999</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueboyjohnny/pseuds/blueboyjohnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaehyun was born without a soulmate counter and he never really cared about it until he met Johnny. And life was good with Johnny until Doyoung. And Johnny and Doyoung were doing fine, until Jaehyun.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun &amp; Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Challenge #3 — soulmates</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Countdown Until I Have You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>thank you for giving this a read! please beware of the tags, everything is tagged accordingly, no over tagging or anything. the death is kind of graphic so beware, other than that enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jaehyun was seventeen when he first experienced true disappointment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembers sitting on his bed, eyes trained on his wrist waiting for his soulmate counter to appear. It never comes: tons of doctor visits, tons of prayers, and nothing. He doesn’t beat himself up about it, there’s not much he can do</span>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>He takes what fate has given him and tries not to ask for much more.</span>
</p><p><span>Until Johnny comes around in the last year of high school and</span> <span>Jaehyun curses fate for putting such a perfect person in his life and making that person not for him. Johnny’s counter has been ticking away for two years when he first met Jaehyun and Johnny didn’t treat him differently when he explained that</span> <span>his never came. </span></p><p>
  <span>Johnny was kind and romantic, Jaehyun got that vibe from their very first encounter. He shaked Jaehyun’s hand with a firm grip and a blinding smile. He smiled even bigger when Jaehyun stumbled over his introduction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you Jaehyun,” his voice was like honey, thick and sweet, and he melted at the tone, “maybe you can show me around town.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, there’s not much to see but it’s a pretty sight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If you ask him about that encounter Jaehyun will swear it was love at first sight. He doesn’t need a counter on his wrist to tell him that Johnny is the one, he felt it in the churning of his belly as Johnny looked him up and down, then licked his lips before shoving his hands in his pockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sure is.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Jaehyun’s love never wavers, if anything it grows. Johnny transfers to a different college, just a state over and Jaehyun follows when it’s time. They share a dorm together, sync their schedules, study together, it’s all so perfect. They enjoy breakfast every morning at their little table and Jaehyun makes the coffee just how Johnny likes, it’s domestic and it’s love. Jaehyun’s sure of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like everything</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> it’s perfect until it’s not. Jaehyun spends most of his time trying to forget the counter on Johnny’s wrist, until he can't anymore. It’s their usual routine, Johnny’s in the shower singing his heart out while Jaehyun brews the coffee. It’s extra beautiful out today, the rain has finally slowed and the clouds part and the sun breaks through, feeling nice on Jaehyun’s skin through their little window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The coffee is finished just as Johnny’s bounds out the shower. He comes rushing into the kitchen, so far from their routine, towel wrapped around his waist, hair still dripping wet but his eyes shine bright like someone had plucked stars from the sky and placed them into his pupils. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up?” Jaehyun asks, trying to play nonchalant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny doesn’t say anything</span>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>He walks over to where Jaehyun’s pouring their coffee into their matching mugs and brandishes his wrist for Jaehyun to see. His heart is pounding in his chest. He doesn't look right away, he pours the rest of his mug and then Johnny’s before setting the pot down and looking. Mere seconds until the counter stops, mere moments before his soulmate magically appears into their lives and messes up everything Jaehyun has worked so hard to build. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun grips the edge of the counter and clears his throat. He looks up at Johnny and Johnny is beaming, fucking glowing and Jaehyun thinks he’s going to be sick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want to meet your soulmate in a towel</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> do you?” Jaehyun gestures to the still mostly naked Johnny in the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit you’re right,” and he bolts off to his room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not even a second later there’s a knock at the door. Jaehyun stares from the kitchen, a sick and unfamiliar feeling overtaking his body. He doesn’t want to open it, he knows what’s going to happen to him if he opens it. The bubble that he’s been living in for years, the life he’s built with Johnny will be gone, diminished to nothing the moment he opens that door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another knock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny comes around the corner dressed simply in blue jeans and a white shirt Jaehyun thinks of all the times he told Johnny how good he made something so simple look</span>
  <span>.</span>
  <span> He takes a deep breath and pulls open the door. Jaehyun can’t see who it is due to Johnny blocking the view but he hears the breathless "hey" Johnny lets out and he hears an equally winded one in return. They talk in shy, quiet voices and Jaehyun just watches</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> his eyes filling with tears. Johnny looks back at Jaehyun</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> and Jaehyun spins quickly</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> staring down at the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jae, is there enough for...” Johnny’s voice trails waiting for the stranger to fill in the blank. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doyoung,” the stranger provides. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny continues, “Doyoung to have a cup?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun’s happy none of his tears fall, he sniffles them back up as quietly as he can manage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me just brew another pot for him, it’ll only take a few minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweet,” the rest of the conversation gets drowned out by the ringing of his ears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moves on autopilot prepping all he needs for a pot. Once it’s set up</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> he grabs his cup, excuses himself to get changed and walks to his room to finally let the tears out. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Being in love with your best friend is hard, but Jaehyun's learned how to manage. Johnny hasn't had many partners, each one that he did have didn’t stay for long. It was always, “does Jaehyun have to come?” or “why is Jaehyun always here?” and “god, are you dating him or me?”. No matter who Johnny dated, saw, or messed around with</span>
  <span>, </span>
  <span>it was always Jaehyun who remained. He picked up the pieces of his broken heart each time, protected him from the people who just wanted to use him, and made sure he always had a shoulder to cry on. So when Jaehyun thinks he's managed, he means he was the center of Johnny’s life no matter who tried to worm their way in between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung is different, he doesn’t try to replace Jaehyun; he cuts himself a new spot in the picture and something about that pisses Jaehyun off. He hates the way Doyoung respects their Friday movie nights and doesn't force Johnny to invite him</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> even though Johnny does anyway</span>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>He hates the way Doyoung joins them for coffee in the morning he stays over like his apartment isn’t right across the hall. When Jaehyun keeps crying and Johnny keeps coming to his rescue, but now with Doyoung at his side, Jaehyun hates </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung isn’t even Johnny's type, he thinks, looking at the boy sitting across from him. </span>
</p><p><span>He’s meddling with something on his phone just letting the awkward silence hang in the air. This was Johnny's doing. He got a text from Johnny a few days ago asking him to try and get along with Doyoung, but how can he expect it from someone so cold and closed off? If it was up to him</span><span>,</span><span> he would have nothing to do with Doyoung, he’d continue to ignore his presence at every little hangout Johnny tries to set up with the three of them, but no. Johnny </span><em><span>needed</span></em> <span>his soulmate and best friend to get along, if only it was the other way around. </span></p><p>
  <span>Their waiter arrives with Jaehyun’s coffee and Doyoung’s tea (how are you going to date Johnny and not like coffee,) and the flatbread Doyoung ordered. Doyoung finally puts his phone down and brings the porcelain cup up to his lips and blows over it. The smoke drifts in Jaehyun’s direction before he takes a sip, letting out a refreshing 'ah' at the heat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, it’s nice out today, isn’t it?” Doyoung tries</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> but Jaehyun wants to do anything but try. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cut the bullshit. Listen, you’re just like any of the rest of Johnny’s boyfriends to me. He’ll get tired of you in a few months and I'll heal any wound you leave behind, not even letting him remember that you were here.” Jaehyun keeps his voice low but his intentions clear and Doyoung looks surprised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lip turns up into a look of disdain, “I knew you liked him!” He huffs at his own statement. He takes another sip of his tea. “I’m not just another one of his 'little boyfriends,' I’m his soulmate and the bond we have couldn’t compare to any friendship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun has a quick fleeting thought to throw his hot coffee at him. Jaehyun’s bigger than that, though. He stands up from his seat and takes a sip of his own drink. It burns going down his throat, the warmth blossoming in his body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the coffee.” And he walks out. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Jaehyun walks back to the apartment, a whole hour of fuming before he realizes he has to face Johnny. He walks around the block a few more times cooling himself off, ignoring the ache in his feet and the sweat dripping down his back. He takes the stairs slowly, trying to come up with a lie. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Doyoung attacked me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, no, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Doyoung’s just too hard to get along with</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Ideas swirl across his mind and he reaches the apartment too quickly for his liking. He unlocks the door and lets himself in, he conjures up some tears, ready for whatever was about to play out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny’s in the kitchen, making himself lunch and he turns to greet Jaehyun with a big smile, surprising him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just got off the phone with Doyoung,” he pauses whatever he was making and rushes over to Jaehyun, enveloping him in a big hug. “Thank you so much for making this work. You mean a lot to me and i don't know what I’d do if you two didn’t get along.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun feels sick again</span>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>He’s been sick a lot lately</span>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>He gives Johnny a weak smile and an even weaker, “you’re welcome.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Jaehyun doesn’t know what Doyoung’s getting at. He watches from across the room as Doyoung and Johnny dance on the makeshift dance floor. Doyoung was teasing him with each swing of the hips, each quirk of his lips. He tears his eyes away from the scene and instead looks at his half empty cup. With a deep breath he downs the rest of the strong liquor and crushes the red solo cup in his hand. He and Doyoung lock eyes again as Jaehyun walks across the room. He’s back to chest with Johnny, Johnny's big hands gripping Doyoung’s tiny hips as they move to the beat. Doyoung’s face is elated, he said he didn’t dance in the car on the way over to the house party but look at him, giving his best for Johnny. Jaehyun lets himself have fun too, in ways that’s not usually allowed because he’s always looking after Johnny. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s drink after drink, shot after shot, people cheering as he chugs beer bottles and crushes people at beer pong. He’s drowning in liquor and he doesn't see himself coming to a halt. He tips his cup back and finds it empty, with a pout he stumbles his way back into the house. The party is still going full swing</span>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>He doesn’t know how long he’s been in his own little world, time feels so unimportant right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sudden urge to pee over takes him. He makes a beeline to the bathroom, jiggling the door knob until someone lets him know they’re inside. He waits against the wall adjacent from the door. A thud makes him peel his eyes open and anger fills his core. Johnny has Doyoung pressed against the wall as they make out passionately. Jaehyun watches Doyoung hand tangle in Johnny’s long hair, tugging on the strands as his body rolls against Johnny's. Jaehyun’s eyes trail down the couple’s bodies, catching the way Doyoung’s leg was slotted in between Johnny’s. A groan makes his eyes dart back up, Johnny’s kissing down Doyoung’s neck</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> both their eyes closed</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> and Jaehyun wants to kill him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a better part of himself, the sober part, telling him he’s being irrational, but the bigger part wants to pull them apart, shove himself in the middle just like Doyoung has. Soulmates doesn't mean anything, a label forced on humanity by the universe. Some numbers on his wrist doesn’t make Johnny Doyoung's. Johnny is his, Johnny has been his from the very first moment they met and Doyoung, Doyoung was just in the way, trying to stake claim on someone that didn’t belong to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bathroom door swings open and the woman occupying it stumbles out. Jaehyun doesn’t even wait for her to fully exit before he’s pushing his way in. She makes a noise of protest but Jaehyun just slams the door shut, ignoring her. He feels like he’s entered a timewarp. The music is so far behind him, the dull bathroom light making his head spin, he grips the sink trying to ground himself, taking deep breaths as he stares down into the wet basin. His body is hot, from the party, from the anger running through his veins, he isn’t quite sure. His mind is racing with thoughts of Doyoung. He looks at himself in the mirror, his flushed red cheeks and disheveled hair are so out of place for his usually overly-composed personality. Jaehyun splashes some water on his face and uses it to pat down his hair, he does his business and lets himself out of the bathroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung is waiting for him, pressed up against the wall in the same space that Jaehyun was earlier, scrolling through his phone like always. His mind wanders back to the coffee shop and how Doyoung looked down on him then and even more so now. Playing with Johnny like he was some toy and Jaehyun was the dog that was supposed to chase after him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I talk to you?” Jaehyun asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung looks up from his phone and makes a face of confusion like he didn’t hear it. That pisses Jaehyun off more. He comes closer; they're barely a breath away from each other</span>
  <span>, </span>
  <span>and Jaehyun leans down and asks the question again but this time into his ear. “Can I talk to you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung nods his head, his voice shakes a little when he speaks, “Yeah</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun doesn’t say anything else</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> just takes off into the crowd. He doesn’t look around</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> walks with his head held high, more composed than he feels. He feels like a pot already simmering, soon he’s going to spill over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leads them to the edge of the woods far away from the house and even further from the party. They can barely make out the reddish lights from the windows and the music doesn’t travel all the way over here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did we have to come all the way out here?” Doyoung asks. He looks around, annoyed, and brings his hands to wrap around himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun doesn’t say anything, he’s trying to collect himself but he feels irrational. If he takes one look at Doyoung he will explode, there’s no question about it. The anger running through his veins builds and builds until his hands are shaking at his sides. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you enjoy the little show?” Doyoung speaks again. “It was for you, after all. All you seem to do is stare and I don't know what you want from me or Johnny, but he’s mine now. We’re together now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s mine now, </span>
  </em>
  <span>those three words are ringing through his mind as he stalks over to Doyoung. The smug look on his face is quick to turn into one of fear as he backs up. Jaehyun is drunk but he’s still stronger than Doyoung as he grabs his wrist. The fright in his eyes sends joy coursing through his body, he feels in control for the first time in a long time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johnny isn’t yours, he’s mine," he grits out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung claws at his hand, trying to pull Jaehyun off his wrist. “You’re just jealous that he’s my soulmate,” Doyoung’s voice is desperate and angry; it becomes louder the more he speaks. “That the universe brought us together and that there is no one in this whole world who is meant for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun wrestles him to the ground and Doyoung let’s out an exclamation of pain when his head hits the soil. Jaehyun sees red as they thrash on the edge of the forest floor, Doyoung reaching up to scratch at his face as Jaehyun lets go of his wrist. He claws at his shirt instead, hands gripping for purchase on anything as Jaehyun wraps his hands around his neck. He squeezes with all his might watching as Doyoung’s face turns red, his eyes bulge and Jaehyun feels like all his anger is rushing into Doyoung’s body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung stops struggling and Jaehyun feels very serene</span>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>He gives one last squeeze for good luck before standing up, dusting off his pants. Doyoung lays there under him with a horror stricken look on his face. With no hesitation, he kicks the body down the little hill. It rolls and rolls until it’s out of sight and a sense of relief fills him, his piece of mind is back and, with a little smile, he walks back to the house. </span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reality sets in when he enters the house. He feels the alcohol again and his stomach turns. Johnny rushes up to him when he can barely hold him up straight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, have you seen Doyoung?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Doyoung,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he shakes his head no. His body tilts to the left then the right and his legs feel like they’re gonna give out from under him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny helps straighten him up, “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shakes his head no again; mentally Jaehyun is alright but physically, “my stomach hurts," he says before throwing up down his front.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny looks torn, Jaehyun can see it in the furrow of his eyebrows, he knows that look Johnny’s thinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get you home.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i really hoped you enjoyed this! idk if anyone will be able to guess who this is but if you do we are now best friends &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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